Off The Cuff

Idiot Drivers Unite At Walmart…No Wait, You Already DID!

Posted by: From Arkansas in Are You Kidding Me?, Family stuff, Humor on Mar 03 2008

Welcome back!

Today did not start out well. It did start with my shirt! It would not stay where it belonged. The shirt rolled up despite all my efforts to keep it in place. Now I admit that it is a tiny bit small for me but I love the shirt. So sue me. But it started with that. The rest of the day has literally nothing to do with the shirt but I mark the moment it began to roll as the beginning.

Actually, it should begin with the frog strangling rain we have been having. My husband and I ventured out in the midst of said rain to buy groceries because we have been warned by our local weather guy that we are under a winter storm warning. Better safe than sorry, right? We went to a local Mom and Pop type wholesale store and waited to check out. Not bad.

Then we headed for Walmart. Sigh. It was pouring down rain when we entered the parking lot. It was obvious from the minute I got there that there would be trouble. In front of us was a late model car with Maryland tags. We are in Arkansas in the Ozarks…at Walmart. Four parking spots ahead, a car moves out and leaves a place free for the person in front of me. I want you to know that I could walk with my cane faster than this guy moved his car. It took at least 5 minutes for him to advance four spaces to the parking space. One would think that he was going to pay for it! He finally entered it.

Next to that parking place there was a red pickup truck, unknown brand but had an extension out behind it holding one of those scooters for handicap people. He pulled out of the space. I am all set to get that place so my husband can enter the store, we can get to the gas station, go to another store and so on. We had a time limit here. The pickup stayed put having backed out directly in front of me. No movement whatsoever. It takes me a few minutes, yes I said MINUTES, to figure out that this guy is wanting the NEXT parking space and is willing to wait for it to come free IN THE DRIVING lane in pouring rain while a line forms behind me. Sigh.

Eventually, he gets his wish and is now in the first space instead of the second one. DUH!! I take the second one. Remember the late model car from Maryland? He is in the third space right next to me. To my utter amazement he backs out of the space. Didn’t get out, didn’t pick up anyone. Took 5 minutes to actually move the car that far. Now he leaves the space. Uh……are the space monkeys out again???

A few moments later, same guy is stopping traffic right in front of me! I am facing another parking space which is currently occupied and the guy is behind that car in the way of at least 10 cars trying to get around him. They do but it takes maneuvering. Soon the car in front of me moves out. The Maryland car enters THAT space. I see a hanger on the mirror. I recognize it because I have one too. This one says ALASKA. This guy traveled from ALASKA to get in a Maryland car in order to stop traffic in the Walmart parking lot in Arkansas????? Wheeeeeee. At this point, I have decided that somebody let the monkeys out of the zoo.

We leave to go to the gas station that is next door to the Walmart. Before I can turn right into the station lot, a white pickup with a company name on the side, gases on it to get there first. I almost hit him in the side. He goes, not to the gas pumps like I figured, but to the Subway shop. Guess he was hungry. We get gas at an astronomical price (hateful oil companies) and head out from the pumps. Two red vehicles pull out at the same time and vie for the title of first out. I almost hit them. Sigh. Oh by the way, remember the white pickup racing to Subway? Just as we pull around the gas station/subway shop, he is leaving and almost runs into the side of our car. Sigh, sigh.

Then traveling east to the next stop, a locally owned grocery store, where my husband goes in to purchase the few other items needed before we go home. Home is looking really good at this point. While I wait (again), there is a cart gatherer who has one cart in hand. It’s really raining so I suppose there is a reason for this move but……she stands roughly four or five parking spots from the door of the store and gives the cart a heave ho, shoving it to the door. Unfortunately, a car is backing out as she does this. It almost hits the cart. The cart almost hits a car passing by. The squirrels have joined the monkeys.

We move on to the pharmacy to pick up meds ordered at 8:35am or so. It is now almost 2pm. The lady says that they will be ready soon and that they have had a huge day. I can understand that. Storm coming. Payday for Social Security folks. First part of the month. All good reasons. But we have waited for quite a while when she tells us that. Before that, in a line. Altogether about 15 minutes or so, I guess. We tell her we will be right back. She nods. We head to the phone company store to pay on our cell phone-prepaid. I parked right in front of the place so husband doesn’t get as soaked THIS TIME. A guy comes from across the way and practically runs to get there first. Sigh. The guy does not know his phone number thus costing more time, a lot more time. Mark that as at least 10 minutes just to help him. Our phone gets paid for in about a minute.

Back to the pharmacy where the meds are ready to go! Hey! Good stuff here. We still have to go to the bank and post office before we can proceed home. Bank is fine. Waiting there is the usual. We get to the post office and there is a humongous line inside. I have never seen it like that, not even at Christmas time. Husband goes in to get stamps. HA! It takes several minutes. When he comes back out, he says that there was a woman paying for $800 worth of money orders that are to be made out for $10, $15 and $20. EIGHT HUNDRED BUCKS WORTH!!!! Sigh. Eventually, we get home. And it was still raining. We are blessed.

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