Off The Cuff

Impossible News

Posted by: From Arkansas in It Ain't Sorted, So What
on Jan 04 2009 | 10 Comments

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Off The Cuff is my wife’s first blog. It’s been a place where she had a lot to say about the things going on in the world these days. The topics she covered here ranged far and wide from the idiocy that comprised a nearly two year long presidential campaign and the election of the absolutely wrong person for the job to some of the idiotic and dangerous things people manage to do while driving or people just plain getting a raw deal in some way. She also managed to find the lighter side of things and injected her own special brand of humor in a lot of the posts she wrote here. Sadly, this is the last entry to be posted here.

This is so incredibly hard for me to write, so please forgive me if it’s more broken rambling than anything else.

My wife Lura went to be with the Lord last Tuesday, Dec 30 2008 at a little after 4:30pm central time.

I still can’t believe it’s true, I keep expecting to wake up from some nightmare induced by trying to sleep in the impossibly uncomfortable accommodations that White River Medical Center in Batesville provides for the family member who is staying with the patient. I suppose they might be passable for most people but I haven’t slept lying down for years because of sleep apnea (and before you mention it, I cannot tolerate CPAP, I’ve tried it.) and back pain, trying to achieve the sleeping position that I need was nearly impossible and always painful, never very restful. I didn’t get a lot of sleep and less rest.

She had fallen in a parking lot a few days before Thanksgiving when her cane slipped out from under her as she walked around the back of the car. She wrote several posts about that and a lot of what happened afterward on her blog “Off The Cuff” ( http://offthecuff.lurasbookcase.com/ ) and more posts on another of her blogs, “Window Shopper” ( http://shopper.purrfectdomains.com/ ) and in her last post on her Christian blog “God’s Topshelf” ( http://godstopshelf.com/ )

Even though she had hardly been scratched and as a hospital trip a few days later confirmed, had not broken anything, it caused her incredible amounts of pain. A couple days after that, along with the expected bruising, blisters started to appear about halfway between her left knee and ankle. The entire area was very painful and sensitive to touch. I had to “tent” the covers over the area so that nothing would touch it.

She ended up being taken care of mostly by me along with the folks from the home health care place who came out to check on her, take pics of the bruise and blisters.

The doctor had decided it was cellulitis and she was treated with antibiotics and strong painkillers. hydrocodone to start with and when that proved not enough, two 15mg MS Contin (morphine sulfate) pills a day. Other than that the only thing to be done was keep the leg elevated because of the risk of her having another blood clot like the one that she’d had last august. She didn’t have one at the time though, they checked for that when they took the xrays looking for breaks.

By the beginning of the 2nd week of December the home health nurse said she thought the blisters looked a lot worse and she took another set of pictures to show the doctor. Once he’d seen them he said that Lura needed to be in the hospital right away to get it looked at and treated.

On the 11th or 12th (It’s kinda blurred to me and I’m not sure of the exact day right now.), we called an ambulance to transport her to the hospital because getting her into the car to drive there would have been entirely too difficult and painful for her. Because the ambulance could not allow me to ride along with her because of something about their insurance and there wouldn’t have been enough room for me and what I had to bring along, my brother drove me to the hospital after they left.

Note: on top of all this, at that same time I had been dealing with crippling migraines and severe jaw pain for a couple of weeks or more and had a very difficult time with nearly everything because of them.

When I got to the hospital she was just arriving at the ER, after a seemingly interminable time for examinations and tests, they admitted her and we moved up to the PCU (progressive care unit).

I think it was the next day they took her to surgery. They had to not just open the blisters but it was necessary to clean out some dead and infected tissue. They applied something called a “Wound VAC” which is basically a vacuum pump that kept the wound (about 2 inches deep and 6 inches across) drained. I can’t tell you how much I hated seeing that hose coming out of the plastic taped to her leg, almost as much as I hated seeing that wound.

They then proceeded to take her back to surgery about every couple of days to check the wound, clean out any more dead tissue they could find and replace the wound VAC. The surgeon was actually pleased with how the procedures went as well as the progress she was making. Each trip to surgery had less junk to remove and they were satisfied that she was beginning to heal.

We both found it frustrating that no matter what, it was expected to be a long process with as much as three or four weeks in the hospital with these surgeries going on before they thought that she might have progressed far enough to go home and back to home health care. It’s also true that because she was diabetic (technically anyway, more borderline than anything) the healing was expected to be slower than for other people. I was told that complete healing and recovery would probably take as long as a year and a half.

By Sunday Dec 28th, I finally needed to go home for at least a day to do some laundry, clean up, get some real sleep and tend to a few household things. I had nearly become a walking zombie due to lack of sleep and a list of aches and pains to long to mention. Despite this very real need, I hated the idea of leaving her there by herself even for a single day because there were things that I was trying to help with that the nursing staff, good hearted though they were for the most part, were just too busy to be as quick to do certain things as she needed.

By the time I got home it was obvious that I was more than just sore and tired, I had come down with a rather nasty intestinal flu complete with a 100 degree + fever, chills and what I call “Explosive Diarrhea”. Needless to say, my one day stop at home got extended by several days.

I kept in touch by phone and she was continuing to do better. By Tuesday I felt better enough that I expected to return to the hospital Wednesday. I spoke to her on the phone that morning. She was tired but otherwise feeling good. She was scheduled for another surgery late that afternoon / evening.

A few minutes after 4pm I got a phone call from the charge nurse. Lura had been out of bed to use the bedside commode. They were helping her back to bed when she complained of being dizzy and collapsed. She told me that they had intubated her and were moving her to ICU.

I made two phone calls to inform family and put in a prayer request for her. When I hung up the phone from the second call, the phone immediately rang. (this was roughly half an hour after the first call) I saw the caller ID was the hospital and expected it to be the charge nurse again with an update. My blood ran cold when I found out it was a doctor, they never call patient’s relatives themselves, they have their office staff do it. I knew this couldn’t possibly be good news.

He told me that she had she had coded for 30 minutes and they were not able to revive her. He said how sorry he was to have to tell me this and the rest of what he said faded into a blur as I hung up to make the same two calls I had earlier to tell them this impossible news.

The next day when I went to the hospital to pick up her things I spoke to the charge nurse that had called me. She told me (sounding like she had been present for most of it) that Lura had regained consciousness for a minute or two after she fell and was awake and talking. Her heart was going slower and slower until she finally lost consciousness again and they started CPR.

I haven’t seen or heard anything official about the cause but the rest of the family and I have what I think is a reasonable theory. While in the hospital she had to be taken off of the blood thinner she was on because of the central line they had put in, the repeated surgeries and the wound itself. Combine that with the fact that she’d already had a blood clot in her leg last summer and was at high risk for developing them and it is very probable that a new blood clot had formed and very likely had broken loose when she fell.

I know that she did not suffer other than the pain and embarrassment of falling, especially in that situation. She hated falling and it was something that she frequently was worried about, especially since she had the DVT last August.

I’ll be posting this story on a few email lists and forums that she participated in and on her MySpace and Facebook pages. I will also post it on all of her blogs after which I do not expect to ever post on any of them again with one exception.

She has an enormous amount of Bible study notes that she has written over the years, a lot of which she had intended to use to write either Articles for her Christian ministry page “Lura’s Bookcase” or her Christian blog “God’s Topshelf”. Because I know she wanted this stuff posted I intend to keep those notes and as I go over them, post them on God’s Topshelf.

I’ll be doing it partly as a memorial to her but mostly out of respect for the fact that she wanted to reach the unbelievers as well as help believers, especially new Christians, learn and grown in The Lord and His will. She knew that we are living in the last days and fully expected the days of tribulation foretold in Revelation and the soon return of Jesus the Anointed One.

She also would not want me to sit and waste away in mourning and grief. Rather, she would prefer that I continue her (and my own) work in the Lord and reach as many as possible while there is still time.

Another reason for doing this is that over recent years my own efforts in this regard have fallen victim to many, many distractions, problems and even laziness that seem to flow like raging river through the need to get so many things done. Therefore I think that it’s reasonable to make an effort to at least set aside a few hours a week to be dedicated to getting back to doing the work that God has set for me to do.

I sincerely hope, pray and believe that her writings will touch the lives of many, bring the unbeliever to accept Jesus and bring Christians to a greater knowledge of Him and His Love and will.

I would also ask that when you speak of me and this situation, that you not say things like, “he lost his wife”. I have not lost her at all. I know exactly where she is and that I will see her again. Her pain is ended forever, mine will fade with time (a lot of it I think) and life will (*MUST*) go on.

As long as this is, there is much still left unsaid, however I have spent nearly the entire day writing this and my heart and mind are nearly spent for the day. It has been, without doubt, the hardest thing I have ever had to write yet it had to be written. She would have done no less.

in Him,

Edward Langenback

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February 17th Is Coming Soon

Posted by: From Arkansas in Family stuff, Music and TV
on Dec 10 2008 | 1 Comment

Isn’t it weird how the year has gone by so quickly? We heard about the conversion of the television stations to digital some time ago. I can’t even say how long ago now. Probably several years. It seemed like a long time in the future to me. We had all sorts of time to get ready although we knew it was highly unlikely that we would have a new digital set by then. After all, our set still works fine after about 7 years of service. Still, we do need to be prepared though. For a long time now, I have seen the constant messages about getting a converter box, about the day that the whole system will be converted to digital. That the analog televisions would no longer get a signal if it was on an antenna, either inside or out.

The signpost up ahead is getting clearer and clearer. (At this point, the weird music comes up and Twilight Zone starts to play. Rod Serling tries to spook us with his words of wisdom about it being too weird for this person or that.) Frankly, there were times when I thought about how weird things are really getting. Ah but then I decided that maybe all we need is to get the cable going or get a converter box and be done with it. Then we can sit in front of our television set watching Heroes, Eli Stone and Chuck in our new home theater seating in complete comfort. That’s the plan anyway. Of course, I still have to figure out how we can get the new stuff into the house or afford it for that matter. Perhaps the idea of the converter box isn’t too horrible after all. Anyway, the date is getting so close that if you have been putting off getting the coupon for the converter box, perhaps you should get one now while you still can. Otherwise, your television will go blank on you as of February 17th. Not good. Not good at all.

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Our House Needs A Makeover

Posted by: From Arkansas in Family stuff, In The House, furniture
on Dec 10 2008 | Comments Off

Frankly, our house looks like a place to store old, dilapidated items. It has piles of things in places since we simply do not have the space to put them. Now don’t go imagining big, fat, hairy piles of stuff. Nope. Most things are in the storage shed but our room has certainly gone over the years. See, we have lived in this house for 7 years. That’s a big WOW for me and for my husband. Even counting living at home, we did not live in one place that long at a time. Since then, my parents did live in one house longer than this. My Mom still lives in that house after somewhere around 30 years now.

Back to the house. What we really need to do, but who can find the time or the money, is to go to our local discount furniture store and see what we can pick up. We have done this before and it was certainly good for us. I guess the problem is that we simply do not have the money to pursue this right now. Our economy has gone just about like the economy of the country. We are trying to make ends meet just like everyone else right now. But maybe someday soon, we can get some discount furniture. I happen to like that kind because of how cheap they always are. Someday soon.

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As Christmas Approaches

Posted by: From Arkansas in Are You Kidding Me?, Charities, Commentary
on Dec 08 2008 | 4 Comments

As Christmas approaches, attitudes toward others, which should be getting more compassionate and giving, are hardly that. People are more rude and snotty as the days get closer to Christmas. It is at this time of year when those of you who do not think about these things all year, should be evaluating how you treat people and what type of attitude you have been bringing forth to all. It may surprise many to find out that they have been rude, obnoxious and just plain thoughtless. What the heck is happening?

Years ago, when I was growing up, people cared about others so much more than they do these days. But today, people are wrapped up in their cell phones, driving down the road (pet peeve) and pushing in lines to get there first (another pet peeve). Each of these acts are so selfish and self centered. It is likely that these people do not see it that way. Why must attitudes get worse during this time of joy and expectation? It need not be this way.

On a blog I read recently, she talked about going to a bookstore where there at the cashier was a place to donate a book for a child who needed them. The cashier politely asked her if she wished to donate one of the books she was buying. The lady in question had a reason for buying those books so she declined. At that point, the cashier became hostile. She threw the pen and receipt to be signed directly at her and then thrust the books and the receipt at her without even the bag she should have received to carry them out. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? With that attitude, you would think that this cashier was promoting that charity all by herself and that she would get points for each donation.

We all have our own pet charities. Some of us just cannot afford to give that much right now. Others are helping by doing crafts or giving food. This cashier obviously made an assumption she had no right to make. This is not an isolated incident. Apparently, this attitude is extremely common. SHAME ON EACH OF YOU WHO DO THAT!!! Why on earth would anyone want to give to a charity with that type of attitude showing? And that cashier, as well as all the others with a similar attitude, have done more harm than good for the charities they seem to want to help. Get a clue, people. It is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS where the people give or even if they give. It is simply none of your business.

Now I am all for giving books to kids who need them. We are sadly lacking in education for our young ones as it is. However, to stand there and act like the person is not doing their part when they just might have given a huge donation somewhere else, is reprehensible. No one should be subjected to that type of action just because they did not give at that time. You just do not know when or if they had previously given. It is NOT personal.

This is definitely the season for giving. Actually, that season is all year long if only people would wake up and see that. But to treat someone like that is awful. That employee should, at the very least, be called on that action. It is possible that particular chain might fire her. She would surely deserve it.

On the other hand, it appears to me that the cashier has no concept of the word “giving” or she would not have acted like that in the first place. That alone is a sorry testimonial for the way things are going in this country which was founded on Christian principles and charity. We need that concern and attitude back in our land. We need to have giving hearts. I realize not all people are like this but the reality is that more and more are just like that. Are you being charitable if you scream at the guy in the next car that he is an idiot? Compassionate if you are the one with the cell phone in your ear while driving since you have little control over the vehicle while you are doing that? You are endangering lives, fool! Giving if you can’t hold your temper long enough to get through a checkout line? Compassionate if you see someone fall and can’t be bothered to help? Those are the attitudes that I have seen recently myself.

Now is the right time to get into a giving, compassionate attitude and then never lose it again. Be a giver this year regardless of the gift. Perhaps a smile to someone you don’t know would be nice. That costs you nothing unless your face is going to break. I know some people who might have that problem. It is the season of giving. Give!!!!

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Almost That Time Again

Posted by: From Arkansas in Family stuff
on Dec 07 2008 | Comments Off

We go through this every single year. Right after Christmas, right after the New Year blasts, we get that notice in the mail that we need to get auto insurance again. Now I have to say that it could be worse. They could try as early as November. But ours comes due in February. This year, we have had a couple of guys wanting us to go with theirs because we have such a good record. We do. Our insurance has not lapsed in I cannot remember. Perfect driving especially at my age. Not bad, not bad at all.

Really, the only thing I wish is that we have a better car to be paying out the insurance on since ours is at least 16 years old. She is an old lady but good for what we need. She does not do long trips anymore. Well, she does have an occasional day of over a hundred miles, sometimes up to almost two hundred. But that is not all the time. She really hangs in there when we need her. She is a good old gal. Maybe getting that insurance on her is a good deal anyway. I sure would hate to miss her.

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There Are Worse Things In The World Than Crappy Bloggers

Posted by: From Arkansas in Are You Kidding Me?, Blogs I have known, It's A Rant
on Dec 05 2008 | 1 Comment

At the moment, I have an ongoing back and forth with a guy who has the guts to write how crappy we bloggers are if we write paid posts. You can see what I have to say in the post “Bloggers Slamming Bloggers“. Don’t forget to check out the comments and give one yourself. But there are much worse things in the world than crappy or paid bloggers. There are incredible injustices that are being ignored, willfully so. I was raised by honorable people who believed that honesty and integrity had worth. That if an injustice was seen, it should not be ignored. Because of that, I have put myself on the line a few times. I am blessed that I have not gotten my nose bitten off. I did break my ankle once though.

Injustice. Race. Unfair. Bullies. Harassment. Strong words. But all of them and more belong with the story I am about to tell you. Two young high school students, brothers, went as usual into the cafeteria to get lunch. They are on the free lunch program so a hot lunch is there for each of them, guaranteed. After having stood in the line for quite a while, people of another race come up and cut in line, then allow many of their friends to do so as well. There were many derogatory names being said by the bullies who obviously know that no one is going to do anything about them. The lunch monitor comes up to see what the disturbance is since it is obvious there is a problem. When told, they put the young men who were not at fault at the end of the line. One of them was treated to a “sub lunch” meaning that the lunch was substandard with old food, old milk and a frozen packaged turkey sandwich. He was made to take that for being a trouble maker, I guess. This is so against the law. Those young men are on the federal free lunch program. It can risk the school’s federal funding if found out that they are not allowing the students to have the lunches they are supposed to provide.

This is not an isolated incident. It happens literally every day in that school. EVERY DAY. There are many more schools in this country and I have no doubt whatsoever that this scenario is played out in many of them each day.

Many of the students at that high school are tired of the problem but are unable to do anything about it. The teachers stand by and do nothing at all, siding with the real bullies. While the school has a “no tolerance” policy concerning the bully problem, they do not enforce it in any way. Was nothing happening? The young men’s mother called the school to talk to the principal about this very subject having suddenly seen the light as to why her sons were asking for bags of chips and sodas for school. For a while, the school was unresponsive. Then yesterday at 3pm, she received a call from the principal. When she told her story, the principal said that she had heard nothing about this before. New information. I would say that she is, at the very least, willfully ignorant and likes to keep it that way. This is a race problem in giant proportions which is likely why she chooses not to see the issues.

The principal all but called one of the mother’s sons a liar. She could apparently not believe that the young man had a frozen “sub lunch”. Yeah, that never happens, not in her school. At the least, she should be reevaluated concerning her job. Her staff is obviously substandard or they would stand up to the punks who are doing this. The punks? Black and Hispanic. The young men, white. It is a form of reverse racism.

Some of these people are football players, large and aggressive. Others are carrying weapons at school which most definitely against the law. Of course, no one is going to go up against them. I suspect that part of the problem is that they are intimidating people due to their own race issues and, of course, the weapons. But they are also getting away with it due to the fact that they are on the football team. One thing I have experienced over the years is that when it’s a member or members of a football team, they will always get special treatment. People will look the other way. Rah rah for the team. Not all are members of the team or so I believe but enough must be.

Reality sets in. The principal will do what she can, will investigate further concerning the “sub lunch” and get back to the mother. Uh huh. I am guessing if the mother does not do something before the Christmas break, this will be swept under the rug. The mom is handicapped and would have a real problem doing what she wants to do, go to the school and sit in the lunch room with a camera. Perhaps someone will help her in that area. She wants to go to the media. Again, I do hope she does this. But there is another reality here. The school is obligated to make available a hot lunch for those on the free and reduced lunch program. It’s federally funded and has strict guidelines concerning the food and how it’s handled. If things do not get addressed in a way she is satisfied, she should call the number for the federal program and inform them of the situation.

The mother of the young men involved is a blogger. Her first post on this is entitled “Whatchu gun-do bout it cracka?” which is a quote from a young “lady” who threw that back at the brothers as she cut in line with the rest. The other two posts are “Will investgate and call me back.” and “I feel violent now.“, all found on her blog, My Single Life Mom. What mother would not want to defend her sons against such obvious hatred? And what school system will allow such hatred in their school and turn the other way?

Perhaps in days like these, it would be better if we bloggers took the time to show her and other parents that not everyone is like that, that we care enough to get involved in what ways we can. I will be willing to send any information to the media in that area if that’s what it takes to get some action here. It is likely that the school will try to cover up the obvious. However, the media has a way of getting in anyway and seeing the dirt. I only hope they are like that in that community.

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Bloggers Slamming Bloggers

Posted by: From Arkansas in Are You Kidding Me?, It's A Rant
on Dec 04 2008 | 15 Comments

One thing that will get me madder than most things are those so-called elitist bloggers who think that they are the only ones with a decent opinion or that they sneer at those who write paid blogging posts. I am getting sick and tired of seeing those pretty boys and pretty girls who think they are the only ones on the face of the earth who have a right to talk. What is up with that? Are you kidding me? Get a clue. Get a life. Are you now the blogging police? Who gives you that right? What do you think you are? I KNOW what I think you are. Don’t make me say it here. It isn’t printable.

Those of us who do write paid blogging posts or put in paid links have the right and the will to do this. In my experience, most of those who do write like that are on fixed incomes, they have medical problems, are stay at home moms ONLY because of that income, they have too many bills (and today who doesn’t?), need to supplement their incomes for various reasons other than that. Whatever the reason, why can’t we do this without the whole world of crap that those so-called elitist bloggers put out? What is up with that? Why can’t we live our lives, posting as we like? Isn’t it enough that the great and powerful Googoo doesn’t like us so they crap shoot our PR? And why is it that they don’t like us? Not because we are “impure” and not because they have such pure motives. Oh no. It’s because we cut into their revenue. And here we are again. It’s all about the MONEY!!!! Money, money, money.

It’s about the money when the medical bills are so high that you drown in the debt from it. It’s all about the money when you can’t even go out for a pizza once a month. It’s all about the money when the kids don’t get to see presents under the tree at Christmas. It’s all about the money when the money hungry Wall Street jacka$$e$ that started the whole economy drop in the first place get to go cruising and dining while the rest of us drown in a sea of debt. IT IS ALL ABOUT THE MONEY!!!!

So, where do the elitist blogging jerks come off slamming the rest of us while they do their 9 to 5’s and go to the bar after work, pay for their boats, water skis, second homes, third cars, in ground pools, country club memberships, grand label clothes and two week vacations? I am so disgusted with those people. What makes them so great and the rest of us blogger trash?

The one thing that really pi$$e$ me off is that those same jerks who slam us are the ones who have all those sellout Googoo ads plastered all over their blogs. These people are making money, right? And what is so wrong with making money on a blog??? GOOGOO makes tons of money on ads and sellout crap online. Their only problem with me is that I cut into their revenue. Oh BOO HOO!!! Am I mad? You doggone right I am. I have a right to be. Who has the right to slam me for making a couple bucks to pay for those oh so padded medical bills? The bills themselves are highway robbery. I am soooo disgusted. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

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Change That Furniture!

Posted by: From Arkansas in Family stuff, furniture
on Dec 02 2008 | 4 Comments

You have no idea what our furniture is like. Oh, it’s bad. And so I looked around for some ideas of what we could do to change it in any way. Some ideas are good, some not so much. Now I like bright colors. Our house could use some since it’s pretty dark with the very dark wall paneling. I should probably think of changing that first. And then I got this wild and crazy idea to take a look at Moroccan furniture with all the colors in it. I am not sure how comfy they might be but it looks good.

Normally that is not my style, if I have one. But I do like this furniture. It looked well worth the time and money to try it out. My husband said “Well, I don’t know. Moroccan furniture? Do you really like the idea?” and I said yes. So at some point, we will be pursuing the possibilities. That was really all I asked. I really love sturdy furniture and that looks really sturdy.

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